You're another coat of red in Hell...

i posted this before...
but it was after i set the default security level of my journal...
so only my current friends saw it anyhow..

my journal is now


so it may have looked as if i hadn't posted in forever unless you're listed as a friend; when in actuallity i had been.

if you'd like to be added...
leave me a comment here...
and i may just add you.

thanks for your patience.

i feel like shit.
equally emotionally, mentally and physically.
i can only imagine how i'd feel if i didn't have my meds.

i'm sick of drama.

saw Justin today at work.
he gets mad points for being the only person whom i've seen at work that i know.
shot the shit about art and supplies and other bullshit.

got out of work at liek 10:30 tonight.

late to lab this morning.. about a half hour.
just walked into class.. and Chef Moeller says to me in this half shitty tone...
"well hello Ethan..."
then i make some half shitty crack to him about his new haircut and how nice it looks on him.
and he tells me to shut the fuck up and sit down.
i thought to myself... "well, looks like i played that off well."


think i'm gonna goto bed early tonight.
i'm ready for a visit home.

i miss my mom.
i miss my friends.
i miss the country.
i miss being in a town of 20,000 people.
i miss having nothing to do ( like i have here), but having people to see. (like i don't here.)
i miss being able to drive.
i miss being able to drive 70 mph down a curvy country road like a pro.
i miss working at Berea College.
i miss everything about the place.
and as soon as i start to become content here.
i realize all the things i've really been missing.

and above all.
i miss being able to goto Pilot Knob Cemetary during the fall...
and just sit and think.

i think as long as they're willing to make a me a decent offer... my minds already made up.
i'm coming home after i graduate.
at least for a year or so to get my shit in line.





( survey stolen from Rachel. )

fuck drama.

game of champions:

popping popcorn on the stove with no lid, and seeing who can catch the most in a bowl.

winner gets something cool.

tkingbacksunday8: sup g money
WintersDying: yo ass in da air?
tkingbacksunday8: shiiiiiiiiit
tkingbacksunday8: nigga be fo real
WintersDying: tight like yo little sissy coochie
tkingbacksunday8: i dont have a sis nigga
WintersDying: fuck!
WintersDying: does zach?
tkingbacksunday8: ya
WintersDying: well, his sissy then
tkingbacksunday8: i always fuck with him about it
WintersDying: we'll run da train on dat ho
tkingbacksunday8: ya he has a lil sis
tkingbacksunday8: i always tell him i am going to take her out and shit
WintersDying: how old is da bitch?
tkingbacksunday8: he gets all mad
tkingbacksunday8: 14
WintersDying: awesome
WintersDying: 14 is just right.
tkingbacksunday8: ya 14 is prime.
tkingbacksunday8: you want the hook up

comfirmation of my boredom tonight:

CLICK HERE

it's pretty funny.
least i thought so.

i probally should goto bed soon...
i have to be at work at 1pm.
then i have a paper to write tonight...
and god knows what else homework i've forgot/put off.

night all.
...........
-e

the new From Autumn to Ashes record owns.

Three things that scare me:
1: firearms
2: heights
3: IV's
Three people who make me laugh:
1: Eddie
2: Adam B.
3: Rocky
Three Things I love:
1: my friends & family
2: cooking
3: photography & art
Three Things I hate:
1: my lack of motivation sometimes
2: pretension
3: cheese
Three things I don't understand:
1: girls
2: my own emotions
3: compulsive liars
Three things on my desk:
1: tea
2: camera
3: buddhism book
Three things I'm doing right now:
1: filling out this survey
2: listening to Outkast
3: dreading going to work
Three things I want to do before I die:
1: love
2: have my own restuarant
3: be truly happy
Three things I can do:
1: scuplt
2: write prose
3: cook
Three ways to describe my personality:
1: nice?
2: usually friendly
3: occasionally.. cold and distant
Three things I can't do:
1: dance
2: read people's minds
3: ever manage to have money.

it's cold in here...
my nipples could cut glass.

i know this took me forever...
but first i had to sift through which photos were worth uploading, then i kept on having problems with my usual photo-hosts, as far as uploading was concerned...
it managed to crash EVERYTIME i tried to upload.

but anyhow...
here's the links to the two albums i made (they were in one, on one account, but i ran out of space - and thus had to start all over)

Breather Resist @ Keswick Democratic Club; Oct. 1, 2003

Converge @ Keswick Democratic Club; Oct. 1, 2003

but anyhow...

there you have it kids.
lemme know what you all think.

( Pure Boredom: The best bands for sweet lovin' sessions with your significant other... )

feel free to comment if you have some of your own you'd wish to add.


.................
-e

ooh... i look like i'm 9 feet tall.
on top of that... i look retarded.
AWESOME!

I feel familiarly emotionally cold and numb.

goddamn.
i hate tuesdays.
i get up at 5:30 am as i do any weekday
i have class from 7am-2pm; THEN night class from 6pm-10pm.

i skipped Public Speaking, because i had homework for my night class i forgot about.. and wanted to be able to take a nap before my night class.
i got the papper done in like 30 minutes, so that was cool...
slept for like 2 and a half hours...
slept like a BABY......
except i had this super weird ass, incredibly vivid dream. (more on this after i get home from class)
then my phone rings and wakes me up; and i realize i'm dreaming... THANK GOD.. i was starting to seriously get scared of my dreamest weirdness.
it's Chris calling again... he wasn't at school today (he and i have like 4/6 classes together, including our night class)
i'd made plans to get a ride to class with Eric, since i couldn't get ahold of Chris...
he called just as i got home, but was checking if i got ahold of Eric,

Chris just got here, so we'll probally hang for 15 minutes...
and maybe Eric will show.

............
-e

it goes wooo woooooo. (just click this shit.)

was going to pick up the new Bleeding Through record, or possibly Alexisonfire; but Andy found Maharahj's "Repetition" used for $5 and handed it my way, so i got that and a UK import AFI Leaving song Part II 7" instead.

i can get the two other records instead...

must get soon record list:

new Bleeding Through
debut Alexisonfire
new Avenged Sevenfold
new Integrity
new Children of Bodom
new Coheed and Cambria (out tommorrow!)
As I Lay Dying split
BTBAM

and some numerous vinyl titles.....
and something else i'm forgeting.. which is pissing me off.

that's all i think.... for now.



i have a headache.
my jaw hurts.
and i guess that in mind my skull just hurts in general.
it's gotta be the evilness of my black hair seeping through to the rest of my head.

guess i'll go get naked in a bit, hop in the shower...
and then goto bed.
i slept like ass last night...
i went to bed at 2:30am, woke up at 5:30 for class...
swear i didn't sleep at all during that 3 hour frame until just before i woke up...
then my alarm went off.
and i thought it was the microwave going off..
i was confused as shit.. i verbally said "what the fuck, who the hell..? the microwave? where the fuck am i?"
apparently Andy slept abotu as well as i did, and woke up strangely as well....
except he woke up by his own snoring, and wondered who the hell was snoring so loud.


watched a movie with Andy, Megan and the Grizzly tonight.
if any of you haven't seen May yet.
go watch it.
the cinemtography is incredible...
and the storyline is equally incredible/fucked up.


okay. end rant.
head hurts.

................
-e